I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize