I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
