And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
