it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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