He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
