I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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