"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize