All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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