Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
