I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
