I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
