I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
