her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
