she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
