I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
