he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
