Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
