its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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