If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
