Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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