Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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