I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The air was thick with penises
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
