My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
