nut hugger
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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