Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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