No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
