Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
