youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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