and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
