I wanna bring you to show and tell
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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