we're blogging at a bar
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
