how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
