I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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