how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
