the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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