i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
