Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
