One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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