so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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