dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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