I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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