I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
