That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
