yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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