Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he thought i was a dude.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
