Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
