Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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