i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
