Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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