So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
