whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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