You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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