He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
