I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize