We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
