i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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