I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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