my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
