he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
