i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
