just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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