is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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