Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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