i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
