he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
