i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize