He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
