so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize