Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
