were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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