NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
