ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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