If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
