dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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