Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
